Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Top Ten Tuesday REWIND

This week over at The Broke and the Bookish is a Top Ten Tuesday Rewind, meaning that you can mosey on over to their list of past Top Ten Tuesdays and choose any one you want to make a list about.  My initial instinct was Top Ten Words, which was a topic before I got on this whole Top Ten Tuesday bandwagon, but since I couldn't come up with anything other than bombastic, malapropism, and floccinaucinihilipilification*, I decided that maybe I should choose a more lucrative topic in the effort to actually hit ten.  Therefore, I bring you Top Ten Most Dislikable Characters!

1. Bella from Twilight: Obnoxious, stupid, and a terrible example for females everywhere.  Need I say more?
2. Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter: Cruel and unredeemable, she works within the system to somehow get away with heinous acts of speciesism and classism.  Even the adorable kitties pictured on her office walls can't make up for this woman's evilness.
3. Emma from Emma: Spoiled and obnoxious, Emma thinks she sees and knows all.  Suffice it to say that she does not.  This is not another beloved Austen character (at least not for me).
4. Hindley Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights: He's just such a cruel child and is arguably largely responsible for how Heathcliff turned out.  He is never redeemed and just gets worse with age.
5. Reuben Land from Peace Like a River: This kid is just obnoxious.  He repeatedly tries to act like he knows whats up, only making things worse for his family and the people around them and eventually causing a man to be crushed by a horse who is later put down.  Not cool, kid.
6. Godfrey Cass from Silas Marner: (SPOILERS) So he's a rich guy who marries a low-born woman, impregnates her, doesn't tell anybody about the wife or the kid, and continues to woo the girl of his dreams.  Fast-forward eighteen years: first wife is long dead, Godfrey is long-remarried, and he tries his hand at remorse, attempting to "adopt" his eighteen-year old daughter and getting really mad when she's like "Um, no?"  Living in the fancy house doesn't get you everything, mister. (SPOILERS DONE)
7. Aya from Extras: I guess this one isn't so much Aya as everybody in the society that Westerfeld creates.  Everything is just so shallow and nothing matters except in how it can make people read your Twitter-type-thing that lurks behind your eyeballs.  Or something.
8. Levin from Anna Karenina: I know this is practically sacrelige but man this guy is annoying.  He can't make up his mind about anything, is prone to tantrums, and repeatedly treats his readers to long rambling wonderings about things that they neither know nor care about (or maybe that's just me).  Oh, and he's the jealous type.
9.  Pamela from Pamela: It's been a while since I've read this one, but she's just such an unlikely character and why doesn't she get the hell out of there when the old lady dies?!  I mean come on, Mr. B's intentions were already pretty obvious by then.  And then why does she do that thing she does at the end?!  This is more about the ridiculousness of Richardson's narrative than anything, but this list is about characters and I'm looking at you, Pamela.  I much prefer Henry Fielding's revision, Shamela, in which he reveals that she was in fact a dirty, dirty slut.
10.  Robinson Crusoe from Robinson Crusoe: While there are plenty of reasons for this choice, I'm going to stick with the fact that even after being enslaved (and, reasonably, not liking it), he had no problem enslaving others.  WTF?!


*The English language's longest nontechnical word, beating out antidisestablishmentarianism by one letter, and meaning the description of something as valueless.  This word somehow appeared at the top of a page in my high school's enormous dictionary, though somehow nobody else ever knew what it meant or recognized it at all.  Apparently I'm the only one in my high school who ever cared what words meant, and I've been carrying it around with me ever since.  Also, I managed to spell both of those words correctly on the first try; allow me to say, GO ME!

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